genuine

If you looked into the northwest sky tonight at around 7:40 you would have seen one of the most beautiful sights in the world. The sun wasn't setting, it was just sitting up in the sky behind some rainclouds. The suns rays pierced through the clouds, which were all fluffed up and big like cotton candy.

Then later on, around 8 o'clock, just as it was getting dark, more clouds rolled in and I began to think to myself, weird how something you see every day, like the sky, can always suprise you with it's beauty.
It made me think that the things that are real in this life are the most beautiful. If you've ever seen one of those fake computer-generated pictures of a sunset you know what I mean. Artificial beauty can never stand up against genuine beauty.
I stopped blogging about a month ago because I felt like I wasn't being real. I was writing posts, but not really doing anything. I would talk about things like forgiveness and trusting God and then fail to do those things myself. So I stopped writing. And it was really hard because writing is something I love to do. For the last month I have stopped writing on my blog, in my journal, stopped writing my story, stopped writing pretty much everything except for e-mails (i even took a break from msn for 2 weeks). And where did all this non writing get me? Well instead of writing about things, or just thinking about them I actually started acting on them.

God wants you for real. He doesn't want your words or your promises or even your good intentions. He wants YOU. And personally, i think that way that you act often defines you. So this time I'll say it, and then I'll be real with you- I'm not always genuine. I don't always do the right thing or act the right way or say the right words. When people do thing sto hurt me and I can't figure out why, it takes me a while to forgive them. I'm pretty patient with things and with people, but when I'm driving behind someone slow and I'm late for work I get fustrated. I eat a lot of junk food and well I'm not as humble as I want to be. Some days I just downright feel like a fake. But that's my motivation. That's what gets me thinking that something needs to change and then God goes, okay so this is where you go- this is what you do. Another thing- part of being genuine is giving God credit. He's the one who made the sky, the sky isn't beautiful like that all by itself. He's the one who keeps the sun and clouds in place... He puts thing where they are, He makes all the good things happen. If your life is totally beautiful and amazing that's becasue God made it that way, not becasue of you.

So yea. I've been learning about being genuine lately. And I'm writing because I think it's something everyone struggles with from time-to-time, and at least right now I know that I'm trying to do it myself.

God only wants you if you're real. Really Real. Nobody likes a fake.

<3