war

What drives a human being to hate his brother so much that he can kill him? What possesses a ruthless dictator to disregard human life for the sake of self preservation? We are no more than the relationships that bind us to this world – can they not see that? Relationship is the only reason for which we are here. Without it, life is meaningless.

But what can I do for those people across the world whose very lives are being stripped from them simply because they were in the way of one man’s thirst for power? What can I do for my brothers and sisters who are being murdered because they were not born into the right ethnic group, caste, or religion? What can I do for my sisters who are being killed because they are not only women, but because they refuse to diminish this fact?

I have no training. I have no skills. I am young and still quite a bit naive I am sure, and I am only one person. And so I humbly surrender myself to the fact that the world is not mine to save. It is not mine to bind its wounds or heal its lands or purify its waters to make it liveable again. It is God’s, and though I am its steward, I am not its Saviour.

The world begins to crumble around me and I wonder: where do I fit into this puzzled mess of life as it now is? I drive to church this morning in a peaceful quite, but the other side of the world is telling a different story. Countries at war, Asian communities in crisis, people’s lives are being lost and yet I am sitting here, still unsure of how I fit into all of this chaos.

This summer I am going to Bolivia to volunteer at a home for young orphaned girls. I will go and look upon their faces and attempt to remind them of the infinite worth that their Creator has given them, the mark that He has imprinted on their hearts. And yet the peace and conflict studies students inside of me tells me that though my heart is geared towards compassion and helping others, I was really created for something much bigger than that.

I am a child of war. I was born into it, and I have continued to be a soldier fighting in this war since I first felt the sting of injustice in my heart. In this universal fight between good and evil I am a warrior, but I will not take up a sword. Instead my weapon is my mind, my heart, and my voice. And so, I submit myself in prayer, and I pray that God will bring justice and that He will bring it swiftly. I pray that I will not contribute to or instigate any more of the hatred that consumes our world. And I pray that I will be prepared for what I know is inevitable, and that I will bear good fruits so that others may prepare themselves as well.

What makes a man hate his brother? Fear, selfishness, pride, indifference? Perhaps all of these things.

What can make a man love his brother? That is the question, for which the answer we should be seeking.

melodic love

Music can mean the difference between a good day and a bad day; between making sense of a day and being stuck inside the cycle of doubt; the one that doesn’t begin with the sun and end with the moon, but that is ever circling in your brain until something comes about and helps you understand it.

Music helps me to navigate my feelings, and inspires my words when I put pen to paper. I don’t think I’ve ever written anything worth reading while in silence. It is always accompanied by music, and sometimes I feel that’s how life should be. Not like a musical, but like a never-ending soundtrack. Because sometimes a melody can tell a better story than words, but when paired together, they make the most impeccable creations.

That’s why music is a universal. We are alive with beating hearts; the rhythm of music connecting with the very life in us. Music crosses bridges that otherwise might be impassable; it creates a feeling of connection between people. The fact that we can relate to sorrow, pain, joy, or excitement by just listening to a song isn’t just a coincidence. We were made to create music, and music was made for us to create.

I am so thankful for the gift of music, and the emotional quality it adds to my life.

Sometimes there are words, sometimes no words can express; for those moments and everything in between, there’s music.

photo via (we heart it)

rescued

his melody brings me back
to drives home from your house,
that sinking feeling of being drowned
by the warmth of liquid love running
through the heart you'd break.

it was my late night prayer;
my late night anthem:
"I'm finally numb,
please don't get me rescued."
but you'd save me from myself,
only to endanger me again;
to set me in love's harmful way,
preparing me in inconsiderate ways
for the breaking of waves.

and I've drowned.
but it feels alright,
so please don't get me rescued.

photo via (we heart it)

Just because you are beautiful doesn't mean you are important.
Your soul, not your beauty, defines your importance.

photo via (we heart it)

amazing song!

timely treasures

"Where are you, oh heart of mine,
where does your treasure lie?"

The words from Sarah's worship song resound in my head as I think about the past 24 hours. Yesterday I found a clue on the map to my treasure chest, and it confirmed my hopes. But it also woke me up to the reality that the treasure I seek is still many miles from being my own.

At about 11:15am this morning I was on my way to work on my thesis at the library when I decided to stop by the link on campus and see how the 5 students who took on the 5 days for the homeless challenge were doing on their last day. The people that partook in this event are solid people that I really admire. They are charming and non-complainers and sacrificed so much of their time and comfort in order to benefit people that they don't even know. Their actions really made me reflect on how effectively I use my time to benefit my community.

While I was "passing by" I got caught up in sharing food, funny stories, and songs with the small group that had gathered there. I ended up staying there for an hour and half just singing songs, hanging out with friends and throwing a Frisbee around. It was probably the most heart-warming hour and a halfs that I'd had all week. Spending time doing nothing with people who have beautiful hearts was one of the most productive things I've done in a long time, and I'm glad that I sacrificed school in order to build community with these friends.

A similar situation happened yesterday. I had gone to my best friend's house for St. Patty's Day. We were supposed to meet up and then head over to another friend's house to hang out and have a good time. But when I got there I found out that my friend's grandmother had died the night before, and her mom was there to tell her the news. Instead of going to celebrate St. Patty's Day with my other friends, I stayed with her for the next 4 hours, doing whatever it is best friends are supposed to do in a time such as that. I still don't know what it is we're supposed to do, everything sort of feels unnatural and gestures feel empty at times like those. But I've come to learn that just the presence of someone you love can make a world of difference, and that a few laughs and some good hugs can change the course of an entire evening.

In both of these situations I sacrificed my desires for self advancement in order to build community - not something that I think I am particularly well known for, even as a Residence Life Don. But in both cases, if felt really good to know that there was something more important than my own personal agenda.

The Bible says that where your treasure lies, there your heart will be also. I think that many people think that this verse is talking about money, which could very well be true, but I also think that this verse is about time. Where we invest our time is where our hearts really lie. Money may be an easy thing to just throw away, but "time is money" as they say, and is a difficult thing to sacrifice. This is especially true for students who don't necessarily have a lot of money, our time is our most valuable asset. We may find it easy to throw a dollar at a charity in the name of goodwill, but investing our time in volunteering, or bettering our society in significant and tangible ways - that's a whole different game to play.

A problem with our society is that we place so much weight on accomplishments and on making sure our actions have easily identifiable benefits. But all the focus on empirical data has denied us of our creativity. You can't measure the worth of spending time with friends, or the value of comforting someone who is hurting. You can't weigh the benefits of investing time in relaxation and learning to actually do something fun, something that makes your heart warm and your smile wide.

So I want to encourage you to look at the way that you use your time, and reevaluate your priorities. What does the way you spend your time say about your heart? Because I know that when I am near death, I want to be able to look back on my life and be able to say that I invested myself in things that were important to me and to my family and friends; things that will last me beyond the grave. If I only get a 90 on my thesis (instead of the 95 I am expecting --> this is a joke, haha) it will have been worth it, because that 5% loss is really an immeasurable gain.

Over the last 2 days I found a clue on the map to my treasure chest. I'm not there yet, I'm still struggling to get my priorities straight and be humble and make sure that the people around me know how much I love and appreciate them. But the past 48 hours were a step in the right direction. Right now, I know where my treasure lies, it's just the getting there that I have to work on.

photo via (we heart it)

beautiful song

Let You Break (feat. Julia Stone)

To cut out the figure
The grounding of this
Let melancholic drown

To greener reminders
Of better pastures
You're beautiful and found

Embattled walls that I have raised
To only bring you down
A fortune I would gladly trade
To swim within the sound

I wish you would
I wish you would

I will never (I will never)
I will never let you break

The burn of the summer
When I first saw you
Still upon my brow

The gentle refusal
The fear you flourish
Let peel away from now

The red that I have run so long
The penchant for this flight
The memory of this overcomes
Lifting now to light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyHCmK40vLk&feature=player_detailpage

you've got me wondering
how I'm supposed to keep
the brown sugar in my cupboard from going hard.

the time and the dryness
of our cupboard environments;
piecing him together, yet he falls apart.

I used to have the answer,
used to know the tricks for keeping him soft.

tell me how am I supposed to hold him together?
when he's drying inside; falling apart.

show me how to bring him back;

Here, in the deep and the dark

we tell each other secret things,

but not one escapes.

We keep them holed up inside,

protecting our treasures like gold;

mining our ways through life.

It’s as if we’re speaking a new language,

one others can’t decipher,

and we’re holding on to the hope

that we’ll remember.

Time-dependent words

we have spoken,

with of a multitude of communicants;

striking chords within ourselves.

I’ll keep speaking out if you keep listening,

or at least pretending to.

Yes I’ll speak the words, I’ll shout them out -

speak to the secrets inside of you.

photo via (we heart it)

There's something about doing nothing that makes me feel good at the end of the day.

Tonight I came home from my Creative Writing class and I didn't really know what I was going to do, as I had decided to give up watching TV for Lent. Now granted, I don't only watch TV in my spare time. I also read books and play guitar, write songs and do homework and hang out with friends. But tonight I didn't have any homework, and I didn't feel like doing all of those other things that I normally do. So, I sat at my computer and perused the internet... for many hours.

ugghhh.... I don't think I've done that before - not without some sort of school research in mind. But it was... wonderful!

So I spent a few hours walking around MySpace, listening to some new bands, creating a new blog for my trip to Bolivia (soon to be revealed, but for now it'll be kept hidden), and stumbling upon other people's blogs. Doing not much at all ended up being really productive (at least in the eyes of this girl). I even spent my iTunes gift card that I got for Christmas on a brand new album - Wool and Howl, check it out:

One thing I did learn is that there are an awful lot of gardening blogs out there. Don't get me wrong, I like gardening, it's pretty invigorating to get down and dirty with the earth for a while (literally), but I think that if I see one more gardening blog tonight, I just might give up hope on blogging for blogs sake (maybe?) Yeah right, who am I kidding?

Anyways, welcome to another post labeled 'random ramblings.' hope it was as fun for you as it was for me... which I sincerely doubt!

...man, who even reads this thing anymore anyways?

the in between - March 2011

These are some of the songs that I've been listening to lately and have managed to capture the attention of my heart and my ears! I'll try and post a playlist every month - enjoy! :)



Moving to New York (Kyte Remix) – The Wombats

The Truth about Cats and Dogs (Is That They Die) – Pony Up!

Big Jet Plane – Angus and Julia Stone

One Great City! – The Weakerthans

Half Light II (No Celebration) – Arcade Fire

Night Terror – Laura Marling

Home – Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Slick – Chew Lips

Happy Banjo – Dark Mean

Resurrection Fern – Iron and Wine

Elongo – Beduin Soundclash

Paper and Glue – Emma Pollock

The Chariot – The Cat Empire

Animal – Neon Trees

Little Secrets – Passion Pit

The Crown – Everett

Sleep Means Sleeping – I Can Make a Mess like Nobody’s Business

Empty Room – Marjorie Fair

Many of Horror – Biffy Clyro

I Sing I Swim – Seabear

Hitten – Those Dancing Days

Dominoes – the Big Pink

Growing Younger – Michou

Me and You – Slow Club

Symphonies – Dan Black

Meccano – The Red Light Company

The Wolves (Act I and II) – Bon Iver

Elvis Ain’t Dead – Scouting for Girls

The Answer – Marlango

Dead Hearts – Stars

Colors – Calvin Harris

photo via (we heart it)