as I look upon this world
I can't help but be angry
at the injustice I witness
something inside tells me
this isn't the way things should be
and my heart fills with fear
then my eyes begin to well up
tears that are salty and stinging
as my heart slowly begins to break
I'm a brokenhearted girl
for this brokenhearted world
but what can I do?
maybe nothing, maybe everything
for on my own I am powerless
but with You, all things are possible
for you are the Healer, Comforter, Redeemer
Strong Tower, Hard Rock
the Gracious One
On our own we are destined
for destruction and anger
the world brings us sadness we cannot bear
yet You bring us hopefulness
and joy and peace abound
You are the only one who can unite us again
Pin It!
5.29.2010
5.28.2010
sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are easy
I have fallen into a slump lately.
Lately... really I mean for the past year.
I used to be so passionate about my future. I loved school, I was eager to learn and to grow and could not wait to take all that I was learning and put it into practice in the field. But now all I feel is lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well, I have a general idea I guess: I know that I want to help others. But what does that even mean? There are thousands of things I could do that would encompass my desire to serve.
Last year I moved from wanting to become involved in international development, to more of a social development focus. As much as the state of the world bothers me; as much as it makes me heart break and I think that poverty is a human rights issue, I still believe that people's hearts and minds matter more. My friend reminded me of a quote from Mother Teresa:
"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread."
I think that's true. As much as the dire physical situations of the poor evoke the sadness within, the psychological effects of life on an individual break my heart even more. Giving a poor woman who was raped as a child a job and access to adequate health care merely bandage the wound, they don't enable healing. I'm not saying that economic development isn't important, it definitely is. But I think that my calling is more towards the healing of hearts; the uniting of the bridges that divide human beings from one another. I mean, think about how many depressed people live in developed countries. We seem to have it all, but we're missing something that is so key: connection. We have the material side of life down pat, but I think we have a seriously tangled up idea about what real hope and joy look like. We've disconnected ourselves from each other, from the earth, and from God. We're just alone; putting more emphasis on money and possessions and careers than on people.
So, as I have become overwhelmed with the seemingly endless need that the world presents I continue to ask the same question: what can I, one person, do? The question is a complicated one, but really, the answer is easy: just trust. I continually worry about doing the right thing. Am I taking the right classes at school? Am I in the right program? What should my area of focus be? Should I get field experience now, or later? But God just keeps telling me: "I know the plans, Kait. I'm the architect, you're just the materials. Trust me because I know what I'm doing, I know where to put you, I know where you fit." Complicated questions that have easy answers are always frustrating because the answer is so easy, yet so hard to actually do.
So if you are in a similar position. If you don't really know where you fit, what your purpose is and how you as one person could ever make a difference, here is my piece of encouragement: Don't give up. If you have passionate anger and a bone to pick with the ways of the world, don't let that go. Don't succumb to the pressure to be just another human being, working their life away - but to what end? Whether you believe in God or not makes no difference. If you have a desire to make the world a better place, then you can do that. And honestly, I don't think it really matter how you do it. So stop trying to find the thing that will have the greatest impact on the world. Because you will never find it. The people that make the biggest differences are those that just followed their hearts and loved people. Think about it: even if all you do is help one person, that is still one person. One less broken person. One life changed. How many other people can say that? That they befriended a stranger and gave hope to someone else, forever changing their life? I'm guessing not too many. So don't give up. Every drop of water in the bucket of change moves the bucket one drop closer to its tipping point.
peace and love,
Kait
Lately... really I mean for the past year.
I used to be so passionate about my future. I loved school, I was eager to learn and to grow and could not wait to take all that I was learning and put it into practice in the field. But now all I feel is lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well, I have a general idea I guess: I know that I want to help others. But what does that even mean? There are thousands of things I could do that would encompass my desire to serve.
Last year I moved from wanting to become involved in international development, to more of a social development focus. As much as the state of the world bothers me; as much as it makes me heart break and I think that poverty is a human rights issue, I still believe that people's hearts and minds matter more. My friend reminded me of a quote from Mother Teresa:
"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread."
I think that's true. As much as the dire physical situations of the poor evoke the sadness within, the psychological effects of life on an individual break my heart even more. Giving a poor woman who was raped as a child a job and access to adequate health care merely bandage the wound, they don't enable healing. I'm not saying that economic development isn't important, it definitely is. But I think that my calling is more towards the healing of hearts; the uniting of the bridges that divide human beings from one another. I mean, think about how many depressed people live in developed countries. We seem to have it all, but we're missing something that is so key: connection. We have the material side of life down pat, but I think we have a seriously tangled up idea about what real hope and joy look like. We've disconnected ourselves from each other, from the earth, and from God. We're just alone; putting more emphasis on money and possessions and careers than on people.
So, as I have become overwhelmed with the seemingly endless need that the world presents I continue to ask the same question: what can I, one person, do? The question is a complicated one, but really, the answer is easy: just trust. I continually worry about doing the right thing. Am I taking the right classes at school? Am I in the right program? What should my area of focus be? Should I get field experience now, or later? But God just keeps telling me: "I know the plans, Kait. I'm the architect, you're just the materials. Trust me because I know what I'm doing, I know where to put you, I know where you fit." Complicated questions that have easy answers are always frustrating because the answer is so easy, yet so hard to actually do.
So if you are in a similar position. If you don't really know where you fit, what your purpose is and how you as one person could ever make a difference, here is my piece of encouragement: Don't give up. If you have passionate anger and a bone to pick with the ways of the world, don't let that go. Don't succumb to the pressure to be just another human being, working their life away - but to what end? Whether you believe in God or not makes no difference. If you have a desire to make the world a better place, then you can do that. And honestly, I don't think it really matter how you do it. So stop trying to find the thing that will have the greatest impact on the world. Because you will never find it. The people that make the biggest differences are those that just followed their hearts and loved people. Think about it: even if all you do is help one person, that is still one person. One less broken person. One life changed. How many other people can say that? That they befriended a stranger and gave hope to someone else, forever changing their life? I'm guessing not too many. So don't give up. Every drop of water in the bucket of change moves the bucket one drop closer to its tipping point.
peace and love,
Kait
5.22.2010
returning to my first loves
This past year has been a roller coaster ride - anyone who has been with me through the experiences could tell you that. For a while there, I had lost who I was. But now I'm back. Feeling more like myself again and returning to the things that I once loved. The biggest of those is God.
My good friend and I are reading through the entire Bible this summer, cover to cover, and right now I am reading all about the Israelites and their rebellion against God. Oh, how I can relate to the nation of Israel! I feel like a perpetual prodigal daughter; forsaking my Father and going off on my own and then returning to repent, only to rebel once again. But the LORD says: "Remember the height from which you have fallen!" And so each time I repent and try to work my way back to where I was before I rebelled, and then to keep working to surpass that place.
It is my hope that I never fall so far away as I did this year while away at school, and so I have done certain things to ensure this: having a solid foundation in knowing who I am in Christ, finding a engaging and challenging Church family, and surrounding myself with healthy and uplifting friends who encourage me to press onwards towards The Goal. But there are other things that God has gifted me with; passions He has given me that engage me with His world, with His people, and enable me to center myself. These things are writing and music. So I am returning to these loves of mine. I still wrote quite often when I wasn't following Christ, but it just wasn't the same. It was more a venting mechanism than something that came as an extension of myself. So now I am getting falling back in love with ink and paper and computer keyboards. I'm starting a summer project and hopefully will complete it by October 2010!!! - Stay tuned for details! As you can probably tell, I will also be blogging more. I know I have said this before, but this time it's for real, I can just feel it! HAHA. The posts will range from anything to everything. Sometimes they'll be spiritual, sometimes they'll be random rants, sometimes they'll be the latest poem I've written or my latest critique on world issues. Don't worry, I'll mix it up to keep you interested, hopefully :)
As for music, that has always been around as well, but now I am going to share a bit of that love with you! So every time I write a new post I will also be posting any new/awesome music that I have been listening to in a box on the right side of my blog, and hopefully you will enjoy some of my findings!
That's about it for now. Oh yeah --- FIFA World Cup Begins in THREE weeks!!! woohoo - go Netherlands!
My good friend and I are reading through the entire Bible this summer, cover to cover, and right now I am reading all about the Israelites and their rebellion against God. Oh, how I can relate to the nation of Israel! I feel like a perpetual prodigal daughter; forsaking my Father and going off on my own and then returning to repent, only to rebel once again. But the LORD says: "Remember the height from which you have fallen!" And so each time I repent and try to work my way back to where I was before I rebelled, and then to keep working to surpass that place.
It is my hope that I never fall so far away as I did this year while away at school, and so I have done certain things to ensure this: having a solid foundation in knowing who I am in Christ, finding a engaging and challenging Church family, and surrounding myself with healthy and uplifting friends who encourage me to press onwards towards The Goal. But there are other things that God has gifted me with; passions He has given me that engage me with His world, with His people, and enable me to center myself. These things are writing and music. So I am returning to these loves of mine. I still wrote quite often when I wasn't following Christ, but it just wasn't the same. It was more a venting mechanism than something that came as an extension of myself. So now I am getting falling back in love with ink and paper and computer keyboards. I'm starting a summer project and hopefully will complete it by October 2010!!! - Stay tuned for details! As you can probably tell, I will also be blogging more. I know I have said this before, but this time it's for real, I can just feel it! HAHA. The posts will range from anything to everything. Sometimes they'll be spiritual, sometimes they'll be random rants, sometimes they'll be the latest poem I've written or my latest critique on world issues. Don't worry, I'll mix it up to keep you interested, hopefully :)
As for music, that has always been around as well, but now I am going to share a bit of that love with you! So every time I write a new post I will also be posting any new/awesome music that I have been listening to in a box on the right side of my blog, and hopefully you will enjoy some of my findings!
That's about it for now. Oh yeah --- FIFA World Cup Begins in THREE weeks!!! woohoo - go Netherlands!
Kate Earl seems to have heard every thought I have ever thought and put them all into her songs
MELODY - KATE EARL
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own brand of company
I got da da da inside my head
And I play songs back to back until I got to bed
Wake up by myself inside an empty room
There’s no body next to mine to oooh
But my skin is warm and my heart is full
It’s the do do do do do do
Walking waking on a crowded street
With my headphones loud
So my hips can swing, so my head can nod
To the rock and roll to the boom boom beat
and I find that I’m never alone
and I find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that I built on my own
and I know that I’m never alone
and I know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own kind of company
I got ba ba ba inside my head
And I sing songs back to back until I go to bed
There’s a river in my mind that’s never still
Swirling, soothing all the time gives me a thrill
Swimming in the notes that go
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Wandering, waking in an empty wood
It is quiet here, I am powerful
I look down below serenade the world
From inside my soul
and I find that I’m never alone
and I find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that I built on my own
and I know that I’m never alone
and I know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
When the walls begin to creep in
And the sky is falling down
When I’m swallowed up in feelings
I get lost inside the sound…
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own brand of company
I got da da da inside my head
And I play songs back to back until I got to bed
Wake up by myself inside an empty room
There’s no body next to mine to oooh
But my skin is warm and my heart is full
It’s the do do do do do do
Walking waking on a crowded street
With my headphones loud
So my hips can swing, so my head can nod
To the rock and roll to the boom boom beat
and I find that I’m never alone
and I find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that I built on my own
and I know that I’m never alone
and I know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
No matter what has ever come to me
I got my own kind of company
I got ba ba ba inside my head
And I sing songs back to back until I go to bed
There’s a river in my mind that’s never still
Swirling, soothing all the time gives me a thrill
Swimming in the notes that go
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Wandering, waking in an empty wood
It is quiet here, I am powerful
I look down below serenade the world
From inside my soul
and I find that I’m never alone
and I find that my heart is my home
and the music within makes me whole
A world that I built on my own
and I know that I’m never alone
and I know that my heart is my home
Every missing piece of me
I can find in a melody
When the walls begin to creep in
And the sky is falling down
When I’m swallowed up in feelings
I get lost inside the sound…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)