worse for wear

I want to become a better person... not.
I think the whole reason we want to become better people is so that other people will like us more. But where is the gain in that? If you change to make one person like you, someone else won't like you. This is the reality: there will always be someone who judges you. There will always be someone that you don't quite get along with or who you just can't seem to build a relationship with. But who cares? God doesn't call us to have everyone love us. He calls us to love everyone. Having enemies is Biblical. Jesus had people that hated him, they went so far as to kill him because they disagreed with his message and way of life so much. But the most important thing is, Jesus loved them. Jesus didn't water down his ministry so that more people would love him. If he did that he would not have been true to himself, or to his father.
"'What i want is anything God can do for me to make me more desirable in my own eyes.' To talk in that way is a sign that the reality of the Gospel of God has not begun to touch me; there is not reckless abandon to God. God cannot deliver me while my interest is merely in my own character." (Everythign Counts- Steve Case)
I think that's something that everyone struggles with, even me. We walk around and think we are being all "selfless" becasue we open doors for people, or smile at strangers, or let other people decided what they want to do. We sit back and say "it doesn't matter to me what we do" thinking that people will think we are self sacrificial because we let the wants of others come before our own wants. But the thing is, if we're not doing those things with the character of Christ in mind, then it's meaningless. People may not see past our charade, but God does. He knows our hearts. That's why it's soo important to be focused on the character of Christ. We do nice things for people because it makes us look good. Don't get me wrong, often we are genuine, we do things because we want to show people that we care. For example, unless i really want to do a particular activity while hanging out with my frineds, i just say that we can do whatever they want. It's not cuz im trying to be selfless and make them think that im a sacrificial person, but because, as long as im with the people i care about, i really don't care WHAT we are doing (unless that something isn't God-honouring).
But sometimes i find myself doing things so that people will notice what i nice person i am. I forget that Christ should be my motivation.
i think that REAL selflessness is living with the very essence of Jesus. Not living so that we can get further, but so that God's Kingdom can.
Just a random thought i had while reading my devo's today.

media

check out this website- the article is pretty long but i found it really interesting.It talks about the effets of media and how much we consume it and i thought it was pretty relevant considering that teens and kids are the people that have the largest intake of media. Also, the media affects your self-image and stuff like that. This week at The Embassy (the youth group at Valley View Alliance church) we're talking about lust, and part of that talk will be about how when girls dress is certain ways it can cause guys to lust after them... we're also talking about how girls dress like that because they want guys to notice them, which has to do with self-esteem issues, which are often affected by the media... you can see where this is going. anyways. if you're bored and have nothing to do check out this site, it's a pretty big eye opener.
http://www.vifamily.ca/library/cft/media.html

radical lesson of the day...

today i learned a valuable lesson. too bad i learned it the hard way, and that it took me 2 weeks to figure it out, but here it is:
don't get too comfortable with your life. i know it sounds weird but it's true. im not saying don't be happy, or don't have peace, or don't like your life, im just saying don't get too comfortable. Why? becasue if you're a Christian this world isn't your real home. Heaven is. and if you start getting too comfortable with your life on earth something is going to have to happen to make you really uncomfortable. i honestly can't tell you if the Bible says this, or if i just heard it during a sermon or a talk with someone, but i do know that we won't ever be totally satisfied on this earth becasue it is not where we are supposed to be. We're supposed to be like "aliens in a foreign country". Lately i have been getting waaay too comfortable. i was settling into my routine life.
wake-up. get dressed. eat breakfast. do devo's. go to school. come home. go to work (or dinner and watch tv). go to bed.
maybe i'd see my friends or read a book or go to youth depending on the day, but that was pretty much it. and i didn't care. i was happy. i had a great relationship with my family, good friends, and for the first time a really amazing relationship with God. and i got used ot everything being "just dandy". i got too comfortable. so for the past 3 weeks God has been trying to get my attention. and im sitting there some nights and i start to think... something's misisng. but what? i have god, i have friends, i have family, i even have a boyfriend... what the heck, what could possibly be wrong? then today i was thinking... when's the last time i got passionate about something like the homeless, or donated money to BWM, or did something totally random for God? it's been a while. i got so caught up in my rountine and my studying, that i missed out on the real part of the Christian life. yea, studying God's word is important, but living in his presence is sooo much more important and probably brings a bit of a bigger smile to his face. (in my opinion). you can't just sit there in your comfy life chair doing nothing. you have to put yourself out there and take a chance and do something radical. This earth isn't where im supposed to be. that doesn't mean i can't have fun, or be happy, but it does mean that i should be focusing on my real home. so don't get too comfortable here, cuz a little bit of akwardness now is worth the eternal warmth your goign to feel when you get to Heaven someday.

p.s. the reason i tell you all this when it seems sort of personal? because when God does something amazing in your life, it's not something you hide and keep to yourself. you tell other people so that they can share your joy and maybe even learn from your mistakes. sometimes you have to open up so that you can help other people. that's what the psychologist in me thinks.

2 official days fo school left. 3 exams to write, and next Monday i am no longer a student (until September). I cannot wait. I love school, i acutally like going there and seeing my friends and having discussions in class and writing essays and doing presentations (yeaa so im a little weird.. whatever). But lately i have just been so tired. And it's weird. for the first time since i've been in high school i wasn't overly stressed about finishing all my summatives or the marks i was getting or anythign like that. But i think the whole life-pile is just weighing down on me lately, that and my lack of sleep. so school's over soon, im hopefully getting an insanely wicked job and will get to spend more time with the people i love. And the best part: (and i am psyched about this) the weekend after im done school i get to go down to Niagara Falls with a bunch on the youth and spend a weekend with my Christian friends, but more importantly with God at Snowflake (the best conference ever if u ask me, though i don't have much to compare it to). A weekend away form school, away form home, away from stress... just a weekend to sit back and rest in the presence of my Saviour.. (not to mention some pretty cool music, a huge water park, and getting to see my favourite thing in nature- the falls... i luuuuv water :D). anyways, so that's a quick update...

chosen... and beautiful

i have a bunch of stuff to write because i havn't posted in quite a while. so tonight is multiple post night. read carefully people cuz this is a rare occurence.

A coupls of weeks ago i wrote a post about this verse:
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."~1 Peter 2: 9
and then i went on to talk about how sometimes there are things about God that i don't get, but in the end that is what makes the character of God so interesting and beautiful...
"We can't understand certain things about God because they don't measure up to what we know from our experiences here on Earth. And i think that's cool, because that means that we will never stop learning. We will continue to discover new things and learn new things about the extent of God's love and the depth of his character. Our relationship with God will never become boring..."
About a week after i wrote that post i read this in my daily devotional:
"'Many are called but few are chosen,' that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come in to a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, 'Who will go for us?'"
Everyone is called unto God, but not everyone is chosen. In order to be chosen we haveto listen, we are all called to be chosen, but we aren't all actually chosen because we close our ears to that call. God doesn't pick and choose. If God had his way everyone would be his child, everyone would love and praise him. But we don't. We are called bu WE choose not to answer that call. WE choose not to take our faith seriously. WE choose not to listen to the person that knows our every step. It is not God being selective, it is us being unselective and letting anything and everything into our lives. It is us listening to the call of the world more than we listen to the call of God.
When God reveals himself to me, it is amazing. I used to doubt God alot. I used to doubt his love, his forgivness. Sometimes i would doubt his very existence. but not anymore. God has given me more answeres and shown me more miracles (yes they still happen) in the past year than he had in the 17 before that. Why? because i finally started to take him seriously. God calls us, he seeks us out. If you're someone who thinks Song of Songs is about God's love for the church than you might say that God chases after us like a lover chases his beloved. But God doesn't push. We have to CHOOSE. That's how you become a chosen one. You choose to follow God, and not only follow him, but to give you whole life to him. Everypart of it, everyday, a process that is never finished and that will continue into eternity. Surrender is continual, giving up this wolrd and choosing to follow God is a decision you don't only make once; it's a decision you make everday for the rest of your life.

i just have one things to say today (not the usual me, i know) and it is this: I Hate Gossip. especially when it involves people in the church who should be loving and non-judgemental and should know better. i think it's a HUGE issue, especially amoung teens.
"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." ~Proverbs 11:13
"...a gossip seperates close friends." ~Proverbs 16:28
so please, next time your tempted to open your mouth and spill the latest, think: how would the person i'm talking about feel if they knew what i was saying? mmm, maybe you don't like the person and therefore don't care (the Bible also says we're supposed to LOVE our enemies)? well how about this: what if someone were to say that about you? mhhmm...that's what i thought. it just comes down to "love your neighbour as yourself" which is the second GREATEST commandment. don't be so judgemental. but if you are judgemental, then keep your judgements to yourself and don't listen to other people when they try to gossip to you.

the colour of grace

This Christmas break i have been trying (key word: trying) to paint my room. And the process is going slowly, because at the same time i am working, trying to get all my ISUs done, and hanging out with my family and friends. sometimes painting my room seems pointless to me because I (a) don't have the time and (b) am going off to university in 8 months. But today i was looking back on something i wrote in my journal about colour and it made me see that something as pointless and seemingly meaningless as painting a room, can actually make you think about things in a different way.
God is an artist. and an amazing one at that. But the difference between the way God does art, and the way i do art? When i paint and i want to change the colour of something (my room for example) i first have to fill in the holes, sand out all the rough spots, and then prime and put two coats of paint on. When i paint a wall, i don't take the previous paint off, i just cover up what used to be there. Then there's God. When he paints he does pretty much the same thing: he fills in the holes, sands out the rough spots, and prepares to apply the colour. But instead of just putting colour on top of the existing clour. He takes off the old colour completely.
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." ~ Ephesians 4: 22-24
That verse doesn't say, "cover up the old self with the new self and hide the way that God never intended you to be." Instead it says to put off the old self. We don't just cover up our faluts and sins, instead we totally get rid of them. God doesn't just cover up the colours underneath, he removes them so that we can literally become a new person. We aren't just a wall that's covered with a new layer of paint, we are made into a new work of art entirely.
Sometimes i think that maybe he doesn't even paint. Maybe God is more like an art restorer. Maybe God fills in all the holes and evens out the rough spots, and then while taking off the old colour, reveals the true self that was there all along. We were created to worship and love God. We are created in his image. So maybe, underneath the colour of sin, our true colours are trying to shine through and Jesus Christ is the one who acts as the tarnish remover and takes all the dirty and ugly colour away to reveal our true, pure beauty.
Well, however you choose to look at it, God is still an artist. And he paints each of us a unique colour. Life gets to us, the devil gets us, sin own's us. But then God comes in and makes the life of slavery to sin die, and creates in us the life that we were intended to live.

"paints mix. new colours emerge. take you. add God. be God's colour. be fully you."

beautiful

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
~1 Peter 2: 9

Sometimes i can't get my head around the fact that we are chosen. Does that mean that God choses for some people to follow him and other not to? Because if God's gift of grace is offered to everyone and it is up to us to use our free-will and decided to accept that gift, than how can we be chosen? Sometimes God confuses me. I have been a Christian for about 13 years and still, after all that time and studying God's word and getting to know him personally, there are still things that just throw my understanding of God out of whack.
But i think that that's what makes God and his mercy so beautiful; we have never experienced a love like God's ever before. We don't understand that God can instantly forgive us and forget our sins when we ask because we have never experienced that kind of grace on Earth. We can't understand certain things about God because they don't measure up to what we know from our experiences here on Earth. And i think that is cool, because that means that we will never stop learning. We will continue to discover new things and learn new things about the extent of God's love and the depth of his character. Our relationship with God will never become boring or old news, because God isn't boring and everything we learn about him is new. Life is an endless journey of discovery. It's an adventure that won't end on the day that we die, but will continue to bring us hope, joy, and peace in eternity. That is beautiful.
The one thing i do understand about God is that his love pure and it is endless and that because we are a chosen people we get to experience that love in it's fullest form. God will never stop loving us, even if we stop loving him. That is the most beautiful thing of all.