Some say they found God in the early morning sunrise. Some, in the quietness of the afternoon. Some in the stillness of the night. Some say they found God in healing and still others in hurt.
But me, I found God in the most unexpected of places; on a dark riverside bench in the city of New Orleans, Luisiana.
His name was Alexander. A man that I probably would have walked right past. Casually dropping a dollar in front of him but refusing to look him in the eye.
But he called out to me. "Let me play you girls a song..."
As we stood and listened to Alexander talk a few thoughts crossed my mind. But the thing that hit me the hardest was this."You gotta love eachother. I wish I could love God as much as he loves me. I want to learn to love Him like that..."
Alexander was a Hurricane Katrina survivor with a family to provide for. And there he sat, on a dark riverside park bench playing his trumpet into the night and still talking to us about God.
It reminded me of tiems in my life when I was feeling in the gutter. God why aren't you providing the money I need for school? God why does this person continually hurt me? God why do you always give me things only to take them away?
My life as it had been was still intact, but I still insisted on doubting, getting angry at and even blaming God for my 'troubles'.
As we left Alexander that night I tried to control myself, but I couldn't. Tears just came and I couldn't even fully explain why. I mean there was a man who seemed to have lost almost everything and yet he was loving God like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
What if I lived like that? but more so, what if I loved like that?
I wish I could say that my time in New Orleans was a time of complete revelation that changed my life. But I can't, and to be perfectly honest, I'm sort of glad because that's not why I went down there.
But I can say that being in New Orleans gave me a new perspective on what love really is. Love isn't serving, or speaking, or bilding floor systems or putting up ceiling tiles. Those actions are merely a reflection of love, they are not love itself. Anyone can do those things. But for me, loving God meant really loving Him. It meant doing things for him and finding joy in that. It meant filling that space in God's heart that only I could fill.
Alexander is a man who many people would have looked at and labeled 'crazy' or 'homeless' or 'needy', but that night on the riverside I looked into his dark eyes and saw the face fo Jesus. And do you know what he said? Love me.
The greatest commandment isn't that we are supposed to feed the poor. It isn't that we are supposed to build homes for those who don't have one or to go to the places in which we are needed most. The greatest commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Only after you do that can you "love your neighbour as yourself."
Your love for people should flow out of your love for God, not the other way around.
When you love God first that love will manifest itself in your life so that everything you do will be full and complete in that love.
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." -John 15:11,12
Only after realizing what it means to truly love God can we ever discover how to love others the way we were created to.
I found God in the most unexpected of places. In the face of a rejected man playing his trumpet in a dark walkway. Or maybe I didn't find God at all. Maybe, in fact, it was he who found me.
I went to New Orleans to give something of myself, but instead I ended up receiving a part had lost. By learning what it really meant to love God, I learnt not only how to better love others, but also how to truly love myself.
I left a piece of my heart in New Orleans, but I also took with me a part of myself I rediscovered.
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4
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8.21.2007
8.16.2007
changing years...
Last night I was hanging out with my friends when one of them said, "I wish you were a year younger... well, that we could rewind this past year and you never would have met certain people and then things could have been the way you wanted them."
And at first I agreed, I mean things would have been a heck of a lot easier if certain things hadn't happened. I could have been "happier."
But I woke up this morning and as my friend's words came back to me I began to reject what she had said. It was my birthday on Sunday. 19, I can hardly believe it. But though 18 was a hard year for me, it was also one of the best and I wouldn't trade any of it, the heartache, the pain, the smiles, the laughter, nothing. Maybe if things had turned out differently I could have what I want, but at the same time, I like my life how it is. Everything that happened has it's purpose and it's place, not one moment was a waste. I learned a lot, especially when it came to matters of the heart like friendship, love, and forgiveness.
I fell in love this year. And I don't think that would have happened if I hadn't gone through the things I did. I don't think I would have the relationship that I have with God right now if it weren't for those hard times when it seemed like he was all I had. Strength is built in weakness, love built in war.
In one of the cards I recieved a close friend of mine wrote, "18 was good. But 19 will be great..."
I hope she's right.
This year is full of new begginings. New home, new school, new friends, new opportunities. A ton of new experiences. I hope everything changes. I hope that I learn to love and appreciate my family and friends more, I hope I discover things I have never known, I hope that things don't stay the same because on this earth nothing is perfect, so that means that things can only get better. They could get worse, but that only means that eventually they will have to get better.
I'm finally choosing to look at the better side of life. Instead of wishing that last year had been different (and don't get me wrong my friend had the BEST of intentions in saying that. She wanted me to be happy... and I am) I choose to see how great it really was. Maybe things that happened then are hindering me now, but that's the way they are supposed to be and that only means that there is something much greater out there waiting for me. Waiting for me to find it and embrace it and call it my own. Maybe I would have been stronger had I not been hurt, maybe I would have been a better Christian had I not screwed up those times, maybe I would still have certain friendships. But maybe, what I have now is better. God has the ultimate plan for me and that plan is perfect. So no matter what I go through, no matter the weight life puts on my, I know in the end it will all be worth it, because when I reach my everlasting I will be the happiest girl on earth, and in heaven.
Amen.
And at first I agreed, I mean things would have been a heck of a lot easier if certain things hadn't happened. I could have been "happier."
But I woke up this morning and as my friend's words came back to me I began to reject what she had said. It was my birthday on Sunday. 19, I can hardly believe it. But though 18 was a hard year for me, it was also one of the best and I wouldn't trade any of it, the heartache, the pain, the smiles, the laughter, nothing. Maybe if things had turned out differently I could have what I want, but at the same time, I like my life how it is. Everything that happened has it's purpose and it's place, not one moment was a waste. I learned a lot, especially when it came to matters of the heart like friendship, love, and forgiveness.
I fell in love this year. And I don't think that would have happened if I hadn't gone through the things I did. I don't think I would have the relationship that I have with God right now if it weren't for those hard times when it seemed like he was all I had. Strength is built in weakness, love built in war.
In one of the cards I recieved a close friend of mine wrote, "18 was good. But 19 will be great..."
I hope she's right.
This year is full of new begginings. New home, new school, new friends, new opportunities. A ton of new experiences. I hope everything changes. I hope that I learn to love and appreciate my family and friends more, I hope I discover things I have never known, I hope that things don't stay the same because on this earth nothing is perfect, so that means that things can only get better. They could get worse, but that only means that eventually they will have to get better.
I'm finally choosing to look at the better side of life. Instead of wishing that last year had been different (and don't get me wrong my friend had the BEST of intentions in saying that. She wanted me to be happy... and I am) I choose to see how great it really was. Maybe things that happened then are hindering me now, but that's the way they are supposed to be and that only means that there is something much greater out there waiting for me. Waiting for me to find it and embrace it and call it my own. Maybe I would have been stronger had I not been hurt, maybe I would have been a better Christian had I not screwed up those times, maybe I would still have certain friendships. But maybe, what I have now is better. God has the ultimate plan for me and that plan is perfect. So no matter what I go through, no matter the weight life puts on my, I know in the end it will all be worth it, because when I reach my everlasting I will be the happiest girl on earth, and in heaven.
Amen.
8.03.2007
Pre-New Orleans
approximately 2 hours and 20 minutes until I leave for New Orleans.
God has been so faithful this week. Against all odds he has provided me with courage and confidence. He has provided for my finacial needs, my emotional needs, everything. I have been blessed far more than I deserve, starting with the amazing family I have. My biological family and also my spiritual one. You are all the most supportive and amazing people. I could never ask for a better family.
I think New Orleans is going to be a much needed experience for me. It is going to be hard, hot, and physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. So if you are reading this post, please pray for me. Pray that I will have humilty and patience.
Pray for the team going down- there are 13 of us in total. And the people that are driving us to Buffalo and back. Pray that everyone will be safe and that we will be able to build relationships with oneanother and help eachother grow in Christ.
But more than anything pray that this trip will bring God glory and honour and uplift his Kingdom and his name. Pray that we will be able to show God's to the people of New Orleans in the most powerful and enriching way: humble service.
Thank-you to everyone who supported our team and is praying for us. You are such a huge blessing. The home front is equally important as the people actually going down there so thank-you.
God Bless.
God has been so faithful this week. Against all odds he has provided me with courage and confidence. He has provided for my finacial needs, my emotional needs, everything. I have been blessed far more than I deserve, starting with the amazing family I have. My biological family and also my spiritual one. You are all the most supportive and amazing people. I could never ask for a better family.
I think New Orleans is going to be a much needed experience for me. It is going to be hard, hot, and physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. So if you are reading this post, please pray for me. Pray that I will have humilty and patience.
Pray for the team going down- there are 13 of us in total. And the people that are driving us to Buffalo and back. Pray that everyone will be safe and that we will be able to build relationships with oneanother and help eachother grow in Christ.
But more than anything pray that this trip will bring God glory and honour and uplift his Kingdom and his name. Pray that we will be able to show God's to the people of New Orleans in the most powerful and enriching way: humble service.
Thank-you to everyone who supported our team and is praying for us. You are such a huge blessing. The home front is equally important as the people actually going down there so thank-you.
God Bless.
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