i keep changing my mind. it's like one second i want one thing, and the next i want another. and everytime i change my mind i have to stop and think, "kait, this isn't just about you." and i realize that as much as a person can try to be self-less, it doesn't always work out that way. sometimes, even when people try to do God's will, they end up being totally way off base. they say "God help me to do your will" meanwhile doing something that isn't, or go do something that isn't. i don't get it, and yet i do it all the time. but this is one thing i believe about the character of God- he doesn't impose. he doesnt't pressure, and he doesn't force. instead God gave humans free will. so i think that we can say "i want to be in God's will" all we want, but we won't be in his will unless we have his will in our hearts. in other words, if we REALLY want to be in his will. the hard part is, sometimes you don't even realize that your out of God's will until it's too late.
i find that sometimes i am so focused on what I want that i unconsciously push aside what God wants and make myself believe that my wants are God's plan. it's like i play God. "this can't hurt me, it can only help me mature" blah blah blah... my excuses for growth end up shadowing God's plan for my life.
the worst part is, i see these things that could actually be total blessings, and i instantly think that it is what God wants. whether it be a situation, a person, or anything else. i get in the mode of "kait wants, God must want. so kait will get" plain and simple. or not. becasue when i start to think like that, that's when i get caught up in life. and that's where i end up getting hurt.
so... the point of all this? just becasue the opportunity is there, doesn't mean it's meant to happen. it's kind of like my mantra about love/relationships "just because there's attraction, doesn't meant it's meant to happen." im not trying to be a downer and say that God's will sucks and is never what we want, becasue that's not true. the past week of my life alone has proven that. but i am saying that not every single thing that is in front of us is ours for the taking. the world and everything in it is God's and if you're a Christian, then you entire life is God's. the beauty of life is that it is a gift. but the love of life, what makes it so appealing, is that we never know what's around the corner.
God chooses what he gives to us, we can offer up all kinds of "prayers and requests" but ultimately, it is his decision. from personal experience i believe that if it's God's will, it will eventually happen, and if its not, then it may happen, but it will eventually come to an end. maybe that's wrong, i don't know. but i do know this "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Every single situation in life works together with all the others to bring glory to God and to shape your character to become like that of Jesus Christ.
so ending thoughts because this blog is getting all over the map (sorry lol)... if you are presented with a situation, a person in your life, anything really -pray. ask God for help, ask him to guide your steps, to direct your paths, but more than that: to keep your mind clear so that your desires will not get in the way of his plan. the question i ask myself lately is this: how can you do God's will if you don't know what it is? well... the Bible says what God's will for us is. and to be honest, i think that if you search deep enough within your heart, you'll find that you know what God wants of you.
"Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." ~ Matthew 6:10
Pin It!
11.25.2006
11.23.2006
the Provider
i just wanted to say that i think it is amazing how God just drops blessings and oportunities in your lap when you trust Him. God gives you the means and the tools and the resources to do what has to get done in order to bring Him more Glory. God is amazing. he provides in the most tangible ways and presents you with warm-hearted people that are eager to work and serve Him.
11.22.2006
it's shouldn't be about me...
"While we think we're showing our difference from the world by displaying the latest Christian fad, we're actually copying the spirit of the world." ~ Newsboys
instead of blogging-though i have a ton of things going through my head that i want to get down- tonight i'm going to just post the Word of God. today it's not about me, my latest fustration, my problems, my triumphs, or my opportunities that came throughout the day. instead it's all about God, and what He says. what He does. what His problems are, and the chances He has given all of us. here's to You. This isn't about saying, "wow, Kaitlyn's come really far. or Kaitlyn's a good writer, i connect with what she's saying." tonight is about God, and i hope that you read these few passages and think. Wow, God is amazing. God is so powerful. God is so gracious and good. I should tell God how He has touched my life and how thankful I am that He has brought me so far." because honestly, i think sometimes we let our own lives and our own theories and stories get in the way. sometimes the Word is all people really need to hear. so you can comment and let me know if a particular passage encouraged you or whatnot (cuz then i'll know that i should do it a heck of a lot more often). but First, tell God. because these will be His words. not my own.
Proverbs 2:1-5
... if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding... then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
Romans 6:17,18 22,23
But thanks be to God, that though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Hebrews 10:35,36 39
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
1John 4:16,18
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made in perfect love.
1Corinthians 13~ read it
instead of blogging-though i have a ton of things going through my head that i want to get down- tonight i'm going to just post the Word of God. today it's not about me, my latest fustration, my problems, my triumphs, or my opportunities that came throughout the day. instead it's all about God, and what He says. what He does. what His problems are, and the chances He has given all of us. here's to You. This isn't about saying, "wow, Kaitlyn's come really far. or Kaitlyn's a good writer, i connect with what she's saying." tonight is about God, and i hope that you read these few passages and think. Wow, God is amazing. God is so powerful. God is so gracious and good. I should tell God how He has touched my life and how thankful I am that He has brought me so far." because honestly, i think sometimes we let our own lives and our own theories and stories get in the way. sometimes the Word is all people really need to hear. so you can comment and let me know if a particular passage encouraged you or whatnot (cuz then i'll know that i should do it a heck of a lot more often). but First, tell God. because these will be His words. not my own.
Proverbs 2:1-5
... if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding... then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
Romans 6:17,18 22,23
But thanks be to God, that though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Hebrews 10:35,36 39
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
1John 4:16,18
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made in perfect love.
1Corinthians 13~ read it
11.20.2006
give it up
"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." ~Jesus
When life gets you down give it to God. Sometimes God gives you the means and the power to fix things, but when things come along that are beyond your control just give it up to God. I know, I know. Too easy, right? That's what I used to think. Then something happened and I realized that even if one of the most important things in my life fell apart, God wouldn't let me fall apart with it. Sometimes I wonder how people can still feel alive and smile when certain things happen to them. Not petty things, but big things. Things like the death of a loved one, or the divorce of their parents. Things like that would tear me apart. Then I realize, the people that made it through and still have the same heart that they had it before, those people had God. A person I really admire went through something similar to what I am going through and I realize now that God had, and still has, a huge hand in their life. In the past two days I've wondered "how did they deal with this?"
Resting in God's arms. Letting him hold you. That's how. Trusting even when the world tells you not to- that's faith.
I'm not saying that now they don't struggle with it, I'm sure the still do. But they don't act like life (or God) has somehow sold them short. They live life to its fullest. They live, they trust, they have faith and they grow. That's what I want to do. And honestly, if you're not a Christian and you're going through something tough right now, still give it up to God. Because I don't know what everyone else believes, but I believe that God hears your every thought and prayer. So give it to Him and maybe, if you feel that peace, if you feel that weight lifted from your shoulders, it will prove to you that God is who He says He is. And maybe, just maybe, next time you'll trust Him with your life.
When life gets you down give it to God. Sometimes God gives you the means and the power to fix things, but when things come along that are beyond your control just give it up to God. I know, I know. Too easy, right? That's what I used to think. Then something happened and I realized that even if one of the most important things in my life fell apart, God wouldn't let me fall apart with it. Sometimes I wonder how people can still feel alive and smile when certain things happen to them. Not petty things, but big things. Things like the death of a loved one, or the divorce of their parents. Things like that would tear me apart. Then I realize, the people that made it through and still have the same heart that they had it before, those people had God. A person I really admire went through something similar to what I am going through and I realize now that God had, and still has, a huge hand in their life. In the past two days I've wondered "how did they deal with this?"
Resting in God's arms. Letting him hold you. That's how. Trusting even when the world tells you not to- that's faith.
I'm not saying that now they don't struggle with it, I'm sure the still do. But they don't act like life (or God) has somehow sold them short. They live life to its fullest. They live, they trust, they have faith and they grow. That's what I want to do. And honestly, if you're not a Christian and you're going through something tough right now, still give it up to God. Because I don't know what everyone else believes, but I believe that God hears your every thought and prayer. So give it to Him and maybe, if you feel that peace, if you feel that weight lifted from your shoulders, it will prove to you that God is who He says He is. And maybe, just maybe, next time you'll trust Him with your life.
11.16.2006
Golden Streets on Black Ashphalt (Heaven On Earth)
I was reading Andrew's blog the yesterday, and then my devotions last night, and they were both about the same thing: Heaven on Earth.. and I just thought that was really cool. It seems that is happening to me a lot lately. I will learn something new and then it will come up again and again and again. And I'm like WHOAH!!! Total God-Thing! So I kind of came up with this blog. I wrote most of it last night at midnight, just random thoughts that were in my head, so I hope it makes sense!
Heaven and Hell are obviously two VERY different places and there are hundreds of things we could point out that show that. But I think the biggest difference between the two is this: God is in Heaven and not in hell. The thing that makes Heaven Heaven is not the golden streets or the celestial beings. The thing that makes Heaven Heaven is the fact that God is there. It is God's home, where he sits on his throne. Without God, there would be no Heaven.
So, if God is in our hearts, then isn't there also a piece of Heaven on Earth?
How about this: everytime we open our hearts, everytime we take compassion on someone, everytime we forgive, everytime we give a little more, everytime we lay ourselves in the background and allow God to manifest himself in our lives, people get a glimpse of Heaven on Earth.
Take me for example: technically I have had God in my heart since I became a Christian, so about 13 years. But I have only been really opening up my heart and letting God take hold of me for the past 4 months. There is a huge difference between Heaven and hell and you don't have to wait until eternity to find out what that difference is. One has God, one doesn't. One is life, on is death. One is peace and true joy, one is confusion and sorrow. Our lives on Earth are much like that. We can either live our lives as Heaven on Earth, or live our lives in hell. Let's go back to the example of myself again: I have had what would seem to most people as a perfect life: amazing family, great friends, good marks, decent job, enough money to buy what I want and enough food on the table every night for dinner. But though God was in my life and I had all the things that I needed, I wasn't opening my heart to God or to anyone else. See some things in life had left me a little jaded. People betraying me, lies, hurts- things that I wasn't letting go of, things that I wasn't giving to God. And because my heart was closed, God was 'in my life' but he wasn't IN my life. Therefore, I was living a life that was like hell.
I don't ever think that life can be perfect. People screw up, WE screw up. Things happen that we can't explain. But I think that we can still have Heaven on Earth, no matter how tainted the world may seem.
Andrew said that "sometimes we mistake the earth for the world." And I agree with that 100%. God created the earth to be a physical Heaven on which we could live and worship him. But the people of the world mess(ed) it up. I think that the reason that so few people experience Heaven on earth is because they dwell on the world and how imperfect it is and then fail to see creation and how amazing it is. If we close our hearts to that which is bad and choose to put up walls and look at the world from a cinical point-of-view, than aren't we also closing ourselves off to that which is good? Don't the bad things help us to appreciate that which is good? Sometimes, we miss out on what we could have because we dwell on what we don't.
The thing is, you have to work to get into Heaven. It isn't a joy-ride. Jesus said that the path would be hard. We're walking the narrow road here, and I'm sure it has a ton of twists and turns. (Good thing about hell: you don't have to work to get there-bad thing: when you get there, you'll wish that you had worked a heck of a lot harder). Being happy isn't a joy-ride either. You have to work to be happy. Trust me, I've been cynical, depressed, and hateful, and it wasn't to hard. I just decided to hate things that were bad and hurtful and not do anything about it. To just sit there and be all gloomy cuz the world wasn't what I wanted it to be. But that life was hell for me. It was dark, and hateful, and every single day I wanted to get out and find some happiness. And once I decided to open my heart and truly let God in, once i decided to work, to TRY, to let go, to accept, to forgive, to love, to smile and not let life get the best of me: thats when I experienced Heaven for the first time. And hey! Look at that, I'm still on earth!
Life will never be perfect but you can turn the black ashphalt of this world into the golden streets of Heaven by opening up your heart and allowing yourself to see things through God's eyes. Once you work at it, once you try and help others and you decided that smiling is better than dwelling on things you can't change-thats when I believe you will experience Heaven. Why let the imperfect things in life stop you from seeing things in a new way? Why let them stop you from making life everything it can be? Heaven.
"I would rather work every day of my life being hurt, going through trials and learning new ways to deal with them. I would rather try to overcome the impossible and fail, than to sit on my porch swing at my big blue house with my white picket fence and watch as life passes me by, all the while being angry at the world for all the things it did to me and didn't do for me. Life does not dicate the depth of my happiness, but my desire to have happiness dictates the depth at which I live my life."
Heaven and Hell are obviously two VERY different places and there are hundreds of things we could point out that show that. But I think the biggest difference between the two is this: God is in Heaven and not in hell. The thing that makes Heaven Heaven is not the golden streets or the celestial beings. The thing that makes Heaven Heaven is the fact that God is there. It is God's home, where he sits on his throne. Without God, there would be no Heaven.
So, if God is in our hearts, then isn't there also a piece of Heaven on Earth?
How about this: everytime we open our hearts, everytime we take compassion on someone, everytime we forgive, everytime we give a little more, everytime we lay ourselves in the background and allow God to manifest himself in our lives, people get a glimpse of Heaven on Earth.
Take me for example: technically I have had God in my heart since I became a Christian, so about 13 years. But I have only been really opening up my heart and letting God take hold of me for the past 4 months. There is a huge difference between Heaven and hell and you don't have to wait until eternity to find out what that difference is. One has God, one doesn't. One is life, on is death. One is peace and true joy, one is confusion and sorrow. Our lives on Earth are much like that. We can either live our lives as Heaven on Earth, or live our lives in hell. Let's go back to the example of myself again: I have had what would seem to most people as a perfect life: amazing family, great friends, good marks, decent job, enough money to buy what I want and enough food on the table every night for dinner. But though God was in my life and I had all the things that I needed, I wasn't opening my heart to God or to anyone else. See some things in life had left me a little jaded. People betraying me, lies, hurts- things that I wasn't letting go of, things that I wasn't giving to God. And because my heart was closed, God was 'in my life' but he wasn't IN my life. Therefore, I was living a life that was like hell.
I don't ever think that life can be perfect. People screw up, WE screw up. Things happen that we can't explain. But I think that we can still have Heaven on Earth, no matter how tainted the world may seem.
Andrew said that "sometimes we mistake the earth for the world." And I agree with that 100%. God created the earth to be a physical Heaven on which we could live and worship him. But the people of the world mess(ed) it up. I think that the reason that so few people experience Heaven on earth is because they dwell on the world and how imperfect it is and then fail to see creation and how amazing it is. If we close our hearts to that which is bad and choose to put up walls and look at the world from a cinical point-of-view, than aren't we also closing ourselves off to that which is good? Don't the bad things help us to appreciate that which is good? Sometimes, we miss out on what we could have because we dwell on what we don't.
The thing is, you have to work to get into Heaven. It isn't a joy-ride. Jesus said that the path would be hard. We're walking the narrow road here, and I'm sure it has a ton of twists and turns. (Good thing about hell: you don't have to work to get there-bad thing: when you get there, you'll wish that you had worked a heck of a lot harder). Being happy isn't a joy-ride either. You have to work to be happy. Trust me, I've been cynical, depressed, and hateful, and it wasn't to hard. I just decided to hate things that were bad and hurtful and not do anything about it. To just sit there and be all gloomy cuz the world wasn't what I wanted it to be. But that life was hell for me. It was dark, and hateful, and every single day I wanted to get out and find some happiness. And once I decided to open my heart and truly let God in, once i decided to work, to TRY, to let go, to accept, to forgive, to love, to smile and not let life get the best of me: thats when I experienced Heaven for the first time. And hey! Look at that, I'm still on earth!
Life will never be perfect but you can turn the black ashphalt of this world into the golden streets of Heaven by opening up your heart and allowing yourself to see things through God's eyes. Once you work at it, once you try and help others and you decided that smiling is better than dwelling on things you can't change-thats when I believe you will experience Heaven. Why let the imperfect things in life stop you from seeing things in a new way? Why let them stop you from making life everything it can be? Heaven.
"I would rather work every day of my life being hurt, going through trials and learning new ways to deal with them. I would rather try to overcome the impossible and fail, than to sit on my porch swing at my big blue house with my white picket fence and watch as life passes me by, all the while being angry at the world for all the things it did to me and didn't do for me. Life does not dicate the depth of my happiness, but my desire to have happiness dictates the depth at which I live my life."
11.12.2006
bigger things
"There are bigger things in life..." says my Oma, smiling(!), as she scrubs the carpet in her apartment after my 1 and a half-year-old dog peed in the middle of it.
It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, the big things in life I mean, and how it really seems stupid that I make such a big deal out of the little things. About two weeks ago we were talking about anger at my church youth group, and about how we should get passionate about the things that REALLY matter. Not the "Oh no! My new shirt isn't dry! i can't wear it to school today, im so angry my mom didn't wash it" kind of stuff, but about things that affect our lives or the lives of other people in major ways. Like AIDS, or starvation, or the homeless, or abuse, or the fact that about one in every eight teens is clinically depressed. Things that matter, that affect lives.
Every year AIDS infects more than 36 million people every year, and orphans over 15 million children. Things like that are the things to worry about, to get passionate about and to act upon. So often I find myself getting irritated when my friends don't call me when they say they will, or if I get sick. On Wednesday i'm getting my wisdom teeth out, and (I'm not going to lie) I'm pretty scared and also mad that I have to get them out in the first place. But for other people, having their wisdom teeth taken out would be heaven compared to what they have to live with each and every day. I complain if I'm too busy to eat lunch, meanwhile teens in my own town are homeless and starving, unable to support themsleves.
Last year I did a powerpoint presentation in one of my classes on the AIDS pandemic and the effects that it has on the people of Africa, especailly children. But I don't think the harsh reality of it all had really hit me until this past week. I mean I can stand in front of a class all I want and tell them about what AIDS is doing to the country of Africa, but what am I doing about it? Am I even upset about it?
Life for me used to work like this: getting up late for school and having my mom ask me to let the dog out before I leave would start my day off on a bad note. Having to wait in long lines at a store (when I really have plenty of time and am in no rush whatsoever) would get on my nerves and make me irritable. But I'm hoping that now, instead of being in a foul mood becasue my day didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I'll remember to be thankful because there are countless kids in Africa that have to take care of their three yonger siblings while they watch their parents die form HIV/AIDS. And instead of becoming irritated at the fact that I have to wait in a line-up just to buy 3 items, I'm hoping to be thankful that I have the life I do, because at least I don't have to walk 2 days to the nearest well to get water that isn't even clean.
"There are bigger things in life." What are my small problems compared to the worlds? Just a thought i had, that was planted by other people who challenged me to start thinking differently, to see the wolrd in a different light and to care about what really matters in life: the big things, the things that can chage a life, not the small things that won't matter tomorrow.
It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, the big things in life I mean, and how it really seems stupid that I make such a big deal out of the little things. About two weeks ago we were talking about anger at my church youth group, and about how we should get passionate about the things that REALLY matter. Not the "Oh no! My new shirt isn't dry! i can't wear it to school today, im so angry my mom didn't wash it" kind of stuff, but about things that affect our lives or the lives of other people in major ways. Like AIDS, or starvation, or the homeless, or abuse, or the fact that about one in every eight teens is clinically depressed. Things that matter, that affect lives.
Every year AIDS infects more than 36 million people every year, and orphans over 15 million children. Things like that are the things to worry about, to get passionate about and to act upon. So often I find myself getting irritated when my friends don't call me when they say they will, or if I get sick. On Wednesday i'm getting my wisdom teeth out, and (I'm not going to lie) I'm pretty scared and also mad that I have to get them out in the first place. But for other people, having their wisdom teeth taken out would be heaven compared to what they have to live with each and every day. I complain if I'm too busy to eat lunch, meanwhile teens in my own town are homeless and starving, unable to support themsleves.
Last year I did a powerpoint presentation in one of my classes on the AIDS pandemic and the effects that it has on the people of Africa, especailly children. But I don't think the harsh reality of it all had really hit me until this past week. I mean I can stand in front of a class all I want and tell them about what AIDS is doing to the country of Africa, but what am I doing about it? Am I even upset about it?
Life for me used to work like this: getting up late for school and having my mom ask me to let the dog out before I leave would start my day off on a bad note. Having to wait in long lines at a store (when I really have plenty of time and am in no rush whatsoever) would get on my nerves and make me irritable. But I'm hoping that now, instead of being in a foul mood becasue my day didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I'll remember to be thankful because there are countless kids in Africa that have to take care of their three yonger siblings while they watch their parents die form HIV/AIDS. And instead of becoming irritated at the fact that I have to wait in a line-up just to buy 3 items, I'm hoping to be thankful that I have the life I do, because at least I don't have to walk 2 days to the nearest well to get water that isn't even clean.
"There are bigger things in life." What are my small problems compared to the worlds? Just a thought i had, that was planted by other people who challenged me to start thinking differently, to see the wolrd in a different light and to care about what really matters in life: the big things, the things that can chage a life, not the small things that won't matter tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)