I hate the feeling of wanting to tell someone something; even desperately needing to tell them something, but not knowing how. It's like you can never find the right words to say. It's like your brain goes all stupid on you and your tongue doesn't even remember how to form words anymore. It's like the air in your lungs won't come out. You try to speak but there is no sound, just the embarrassing whistle of that little bit of air that somehow has escaped from behind your closed throat. And then you feel like your chocking; chocking on AIR for goodness sake. The one thing that is supposed to help you breath is stopping you from breathing all together. And then, when you finally do get a hold of yourself and speak, all the wrong words come out. You lost your courage, and now the moment is gone and none of it feels right anymore.
If I could talk as well as I could write then this wouldn’t be a problem. But I can’t. I don’t know what it is about writing that makes me so brave, but it does. And that is scary, because writing is so much more incriminating
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