hope

Hope has been wandering around in my brain as of late.

I witnessed it in a small alleyway in downtown Toronto, as a beautiful man named Ken told me his tale of how he came to live in the street. I saw hope in his eyes and peacefulness that I have found my own comfortable life to be lacking.

I also watched that hope as it left me. That very same day that I met Ken, I also witnessed thousands of people throw up their hands and worship the gods of sex, pleasure, and alcohol. Quickly, the hope that Ken had given me began to dissipate, as the reality of a powerful darkness overshadowed what small fire Ken had lit in my heart.

But that fire can be lit once again.

Through my journeys in life I have come to know hope as a candle. Though it is a small flame, it has enough brightness to light an entire room. In the midst of darkness, this light can be seen from a long way off, and its fire can spread from one candle to another, with no need for a match. Hope is infectious, and once a candle is lit, other candles follow, and soon whole communities are living in the light.

But this small flame is also easily extinguished; the gentlest wind may snuff it out. Sometimes there is a darkness so thick that it seems such a small light could not overcome it. But there is power in numbers, and every candle that blows out can be lit again.

We all hold this candle of hope within our hearts, and when the candle in our own heart goes out, we merely have to find someone whose fire is still burning, and let them set ours aflame once again.

The tricky part with hope is that you have to seek it out. So really, you can only burn if you want to. If you sit around with your candle out for too long, the darkness will begin to penetrate it, and lighting it again will become a laborious task. But if we seek it out, relighting our candle is easy.

Sometimes we can’t find that other candle. But there is a secret about hope that I will tell you. When you earnestly seek it out the friction with the darkness causes a spark. This spark will relight your candle. If you look for hope you will find it. But if you sit in the dark, despairing at the lack of light around you, you will never find the answers that you are looking for.

Lighting a candle without someone else’s flame is difficult, but it is not impossible. Press onward into the darkness. Create the friction by denying the darkness of its power. Relight the candle. Those who seek shall find.

"Hope begins in the dark... You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.” - Anne Lamott