everything is perfect

Where are you?

Why are you not why I am?

Why are you not in the brush?

Or the lens?

Or the pen?

Where are you?

When can I create you?

Painted in time;

in pictures;

in words.

If I were to wish for perfection,

to try and create it,

to mold it in my hands,

to uncover the canvas and see,

could I create perfection?

... or would perfection get the best of me?

photo via (we heart it)

You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.

--J Krishnamurti

photo via (we heart it) 

"Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." ~ Alan Alexander (American artist)

In the black we walk

through the thick coffee-darkness,
down the dug-out path,
dug-out by the shoes of lost feet,
feet that forged a way
to save wandering souls.


It is not the same as before,

there is a distance I can’t place;
a time uncountable;
a weight immeasurable;
and yet I could not wish
to be anywhere else .

We walk in the mud,
dirt littering our soles,
staining our knees when we fall.
Like spilt wine on white carpet
and no sparkling liquids
to purge the reminder.

It’s spring,
the sun is shining and
the flowers are bursting forth in
all their splendid prisms of colour -
beauty brought forth by light.

But somehow,
in all its frightening ways,
the night will still take us.
Its coffee-darkness surrounding
us like warm breath,
fragrant and bitterly sweet.

We cannot escape,
this is our condition:
redemption caught up in
fault lines running deep
to our cores.

It shakes us,
filling our veins like ink. 
In this thick coffee-coloured darkness
we take another drink.


photo via (we heart it)

and if my heart should somehow stop...

then in the forest i made my home
lay down on hard and ancient stone
then if my heart should somehow stop
i’ll hang on, to the hope
that you’re not too late

 -- James Vincent McMorrow

New Music Blog: http://poetryandsoundmusings.tumblr.com/

"Anything you do not give freely and abundantly become lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes." 

- Annie Dillard

your soul

Step;

take another.

Take another now so you don’t sink.

Take a step and walk into wonder,

walk in darkness, but inside the light.

Don’t forget it,

That light there;

that shining in your soul.

They say it keeps the young alive,

they say it makes the grave cry,

that shining in your soul,

that effervescent light.

The dark may be here,

covering like a wool blanket,

thick, you cannot breathe.

You can cast if off,

you can run.

You can run with flashlights,

you can hide.

Don’t hide.

Don’t hide the light

that shines in your soul.


photo via (we heart it)

disintegration

I have 417 friends on Facebook. 417 friends who survived my last mass-deletion.

I talk to maybe 20 of them on a regular basis. Maybe 15 through text/e-mail/Facebook. Maybe 10 in person or on the phone. About 3 of them know me really, really well.

All else is just background noise.

So what's the point?
How has this "social networking" actually done anything for my friendships? If anything it's made me lazy and unintentional with my friends. I don't have to remember their birthdays because Facebook will remind me. I don't have to call and see how they are because their status updates inform me. I don't have to ask them what's new in their lives because I can just look at their pictures.

I have this on-line community that actually breaks down the essence of what real community means. 

So, I ask again: What's the point?

gorgeous autumn sunset

beauty

There is beauty all around us that is waiting to be found, we merely have to go out and discover it.

tightrope

"We are all wretched. We are all beautiful."

"I'm walking the tightrope of identity. I've got Jesus in my heart but sin on my sleeve."

Christianity is a walk of careful treading. We must be careful what we think, what we say, what we subject ourselves to, what we consume, what we believe. It is laborious. Impossible, if not for the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

One of the most difficult things I have found about the Christian religion is the principle upon which the whole religion builds upon: that we are sinners and yet that we are forgiven. "I am wretched!" My thoughts often echo the apostle Paul's sentiment from Romans 7:24. "Yet, I am beautiful!" Through the power of Jesus Christ I myself can finish with the same conclusion as Paul - that I am redeemed; delivered through His blood. 

There is a fine line that Christians must locate. It is the line between insecurity and pride. We cannot be so insecure as to think that we are not worthy of God's love, but we cannot be so prideful as to think that we are above His grace. This is a line that I have struggled to walk in my days as a devoted Christian. I have struggled with issues of guilt and condemnation because of  things that I have done and the way that I was brought up. But the Bible says that "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17). Through no strength of my own, I find the power of Christ Jesus; the power of His love and forgiveness. This is a radical thing. That the Almighty God would be forgiving of sinners. But it is the truth that the Christian religion clings to. It is the truth that defines us. If we choose to believe anything other than this truth, we will not be able to walk fully in the light, but will habitually be walking in darkness. We should not be prideful, but we should have full confidence in Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit. We should not be insecure, but rather secure in His blood that has washed us of all unrighteousness. 

So, my friends, I pray that you have accepted the wonderful and fundamental truth. If you have not, I pray that by the power of the Holy Spirit you would turn from the lies that Satan has told you regarding your sin and run into the embrace of the Holy and loving God. I can promise you that if you do, it will save you life

Jacob's Story

"It's Jesus who changes abusers into protectors,

He changes addicts into free men,

He changes traffickers into rescuers."

first world problems

The ridiculousness of this thechive.com post made me feel a little guilty... I have definitely done the charger one...  but alas, life goes on and we recognize that though "it's all relative," some things are just plain ridiculous! Let's admit our ridiculousness (at least the bad parts) and then commit to changing it.
http://thechive.com/2011/08/29/20-first-world-problems-20-photos/

New music!

out of your poverty

Lately I've been diving into the pool of information about simple living and community building and it seems to me that the two go hand in hand. This has been both a refreshing and daunting concept for me to learn. Refreshing, because I have seen movement by the wealthy toward being willing to live with less and recognizing the wisdom of the phrase, “live simply so that others may simply live.” But daunting because, though I subscribe to the belief that it is close-knit communities are what will help change our individualistic, selfish agendas, I also find it hard to get out of my comfort zone and take the initiative to create these types of communities. However, my values outweigh my fears and it is for this reason that over the past year I have tried to reduce my consumption and the amount of ‘things’ I have that clutter my life. I have also worked on building communities that care about their neighbours (you can ask me if you want details). But I have also recognized that individual change is not the only thing that will have an impact. Not everyone is going to want to ‘regress’ to a simpler life and live in these close-knit communities (though I could give you many reasons as to why having less things and less money and living in community is, in fact, no regression at all). No, we will need change on a larger scale. We will need economic and social change; we will need policy change. People are becoming discontent and this, oddly, makes me happy, for discontent breeds change!

Today I will be continuing my exploration by heading to the Occupy Newmarket movement’s first general assembly at Fairy Lake. The Occupy movements started this September in New York with a group of protesters sitting in on Wall Street to protest the wealth gap and the gross power that major banks and multinational corporations have over the global economy.

As I head to the Occupy Newmarket GA I take the time to recognize that I myself am part of the global rich. I am in the top 15% of the wealthiest people in the world (globalrichlist.com) and therefore am not innocent. It is a scary and overwhelming thing at times, this thing called ‘having money.’ Scary because most of the time I don’t feel very rich; overwhelming because some mornings I wake up and feel anxious about all of the things cluttering my large bedroom. There is a balance that I am trying to find, one that has never been easy for me, even when living in a less-developed country for 4 months. But I hope that as I continue to read stories of people who have transitioned to simple living and as I read my Bible and support social change initiatives such as the Occupy movements that I will begin to discover what this ‘balance’ thing means for me as an individual, and through that I will be able to reveal truths to others about the danger of our consumption habits, and the hope we can find in old ideas and new passions.

I really do hope that the Occupy protests will be productive and inspire the policy change that we need, but I also want to take the time to highlight my personal beliefs about social change and helping the poor. These beliefs are not based on government responsibility for taking care of the poor (though this is the widespread view), but rather that  I as a Christian am part of a body of believers that needs to step up. The Church is Christ’s hands and feet and as His body we need to respond to our mission. This is not just about giving donations to important projects or spending a few hours every month volunteering at the soup kitchen (though those acts are important too). This is about loving our neighbours as ourselves in an honest way. Jesus blessed the woman at the temple not because she gave those two small coins out of her wealth, but out of her poverty. Jesus is calling us to love our neighbours sacrificially. He is calling us to enter into suffering with them as He entered into suffering with us both in His life (John 11) and in His death. This doesn't mean that we necessarily need to sell all we have and become poor (though there are Christians who have been gifted with the spiritual gift of voluntary poverty; Google Shane Claiborne and Brandt Russo for more info), but rather that we need to build solidarity with our neighbours (poor or not) through offering our time, our hearts and at times, our wallets. It isn't going to be easy, at least not if you try and do it through your own strength, but through the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit we can begin to sacrifice for the sake of Christ.

Mark 10:25 says that “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." It is hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom because the rich often fall in love with their money and end up committing idolatry. It isn't impossible (for nothing is impossible with God - Luke 1:37) for a rich man to enter, but it is increasingly difficult. This is why Jesus talks about money so often and warns His followers of its snares. 

This isn’t about being ashamed of your wealth, we've talked about that before. It’s not about what you have but what you do with what you have, or what you would be willing to do if called to do so (Matthew 19:21). It’s about building solidarity with the poor and about giving out of your poverty, not just out of your wealth. It’s about being willing to sell everything you own for the sake of Jesus Christ; it’s about valuing eternal things over earthly things; it’s about storing your treasures in the right place. It's about not committing idolatry with your money. It’s about loving your neighbour as yourself and maybe, just maybe, acknowledging that loving your neighbour could hurt sometimes.  

I would hurl words into this darkness and wait for an echo, and if an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight, to create a sense of hunger for life that gnaws in us all. 

-- Richard Wright

The Midway State is a Canadian band that I've been following for about 4 years now. They just put out a new album this summer, and though not as good as their debut album "Holes," it still has that feel-good summer-night vibe that The Midway State is known for.  

Though The Midway State took a bit of a different direction from their normal style with the album, the pop feel of this album lends itself to brining up memories of days at the beach or summer road trips. I know I like a band when I can see my self road-tripping to their music. It's music that you can easily live life to. 

Anyway, here is their website. It's pretty awesome, their digital media is also pretty 'hip,' and I catch myself going back to the website over and over again to see new photos and the little anecdotes they've posted. Check it out: http://themidwaystate.tumblr.com/

the resurrected life

Verse 1:

I’m falling softly into the water,
and I’m trying hard not to drown.

But my tale is one of a lost soul

and I’m reaching the point of no return.

Chorus:

I’m dying to resurrect
all that has disappeared -

this sin is killing me,

digging me a grave I fear,

and I’m drowning 
beneath the soil 

of all I’ve done.

Still the blood runs clean through me,
it’s transfusing all of this;

eating the dirty soiled mess 

out of me.

And I realize that my life
is not mine to save,

but Yours to give

and Yours to take away.

Verse 2:

I do confess, I’ve run away.
The lure of the night, it had beckoned me. 
My hands are stained with innocent life,
and yet my Victory has overcome my vice.

Chorus:

I’m dying to resurrect
all that has disappeared -

this sin is killing me,

digging me a grave I fear,

and I’m drowning
beneath the soil

of all I’ve done.

Still the blood runs clean through me,
it’s transfusing all of this;

eating the dirty soiled mess

out of me.

And I realize that my life
is not mine to save,

but Yours to give

and Yours to take away.

Yeah, it's Yours to give
and Yours to take away.

A song: Autumn Sorrow

things are broken

not like toys

that children left on the floor

after called out to play

but like hearts

built up high

and then let down

not so easily

there sounds the melody

of the bird's

mournful morning song

without its harmony

the dissonance belongs

there sounds the melody

of the wind between the trees

of leaves falling to the ground

so deadly

you've got me crying out now

for freedom

from this autumn sorrow

on hope

In the end we are all merely searching for happiness. We are searching for the places that our hearts can call home; places where our hope will not be broken. Sometimes we catch glimpses of these things. At dusk, when the sun is going down and the red and purple colours touch the horizon and we are reminded of how even the end can be a beautiful thing; when a baby is born and we are reminded that crying out can bring us life; when we sink into the couch beside our best friends and our families and we are reminded of what laughter sounds like.

But our world is constantly pulling us apart and pulling us together. Full of confusing tragedies that cause us to doubt the goodness we used to feel, every day it continues to drive us towards ends and through difficult means. Our humanity often fails us and the earth continues to deteriorate slowly as resources become scarce.

We have been beaten down and we are broken. Others have stolen joyful moments from our lives; violent men have caused us to fear; our children have died inexplicably; war and crime and hate seem to be winning.

We call out to God desperately, asking to see His hand at work. Sometimes we are left confused.

But the things of this world, our experiences here, they are not what we can hold onto. These moments are fleeting. It has become apparent to me that Jesus Christ must be the source of all our hope. Without His love, His forgiveness, and His promises, even the joyful moments of our lives will become void of meaning.

It is for this reason that I have put my hope in Jesus Christ. Mankind is fallen and broken and has failed us; we cannot put our hope in our own humanity, as history shows it has often left us found wanting. We cannot even place our hope in the Church, an institution that has done nearly as much evil as it has good. We can only place our hope in Jesus Christ; the only constant in our lives. With Jesus as the source of all our hope, we will not be left in such a hopeless despair over the state of the world. Instead, we will eagerly wait for the day when all tragedy will be reconciled and the joy that we have caught glimpses of will become the beautiful reality.

In times of tragedy may you remember that the day is coming when pain and mourning and crying will cease. And in times of joy may you be reminded of what hope feels like and realize that with Jesus Christ, our Hope is already here.

What inspires you?

I could tell you without thinking.

Beautiful words. Beautiful sounds. Beautiful scenes.

All of God’s creativity displayed in all of its perfection.

Reading the Psalms while sitting in the park listening to the birds sing.

Nature. Music. Poetry.

i love the red*

Living in Bolivia for four months without a direct internet connection has made me forget how much I love the internet. But today, as I was sitting in a quite cafe downtown after finishing off a cappuccino with a good friend I pulled out my laptop and was reminded of my love for the internet.

Listen here. I hate sitting in internet cafes. They are cold, full of people, and I always feel as though someone is glancing at my screen ever 50 seconds, snooping in my internet business. Internet cafes destroy what I love about the internet.

For the past few years the internet has become my own personal library. I could sit at my desk for hours looking up poetry, photographs, and perusing through blogs. The things I found there were inspiring, interesting, and always made for a good laugh. It’s quite sad that so much of my inspiration is drawn from the things I find on the internet (even this post is inspired as such). I tend to miss the days when I could sit down at my desk after walking around the park with my headphones and have something interesting to write. Now it seems as though my writing is deeply connected with the internet - this my friends is a sad story in the making.

I thought that coming to Bolivia would inspire my writing, but it seems to have stifled it somewhat ( must be the long work days and the lack of internet access.) It’s dissapointing that my writing would be tied to something as trivial as the internet. But alas, we all have our weaknesses.

*red = web in Spanish... aka the internet

What drives a human being to hate his brother so much that he can kill him? What possesses a ruthless dictator to disregard human life for the sake of self preservation? We are no more than the relationships that bind us to this world – can they not see that? Relationship is the only reason for which we are here. Without it, life is meaningless.

But what can I do for those people across the world whose very lives are being stripped from them simply because they were in the way of one man’s thirst for power? What can I do for my brothers and sisters who are being murdered because they were not born into the right ethnic group, caste, or religion? What can I do for my sisters who are being killed because they are not only women, but because they refuse to diminish this fact?

I have no training. I have no skills. I am young and still quite a bit naive I am sure, and I am only one person. And so I humbly surrender myself to the fact that the world is not mine to save. It is not mine to bind its wounds or heal its lands or purify its waters to make it liveable again. It is God’s, and though I am its steward, I am not its Saviour.

The world begins to crumble around me and I wonder: where do I fit into this puzzled mess of life as it now is? I drive to church this morning in a peaceful quite, but the other side of the world is telling a different story. Countries at war, Asian communities in crisis, people’s lives are being lost and yet I am sitting here, still unsure of how I fit into all of this chaos.

This summer I am going to Bolivia to volunteer at a home for young orphaned girls. I will go and look upon their faces and attempt to remind them of the infinite worth that their Creator has given them, the mark that He has imprinted on their hearts. And yet the peace and conflict studies students inside of me tells me that though my heart is geared towards compassion and helping others, I was really created for something much bigger than that.

I am a child of war. I was born into it, and I have continued to be a soldier fighting in this war since I first felt the sting of injustice in my heart. In this universal fight between good and evil I am a warrior, but I will not take up a sword. Instead my weapon is my mind, my heart, and my voice. And so, I submit myself in prayer, and I pray that God will bring justice and that He will bring it swiftly. I pray that I will not contribute to or instigate any more of the hatred that consumes our world. And I pray that I will be prepared for what I know is inevitable, and that I will bear good fruits so that others may prepare themselves as well.

What makes a man hate his brother? Fear, selfishness, pride, indifference? Perhaps all of these things.

What can make a man love his brother? That is the question, for which the answer we should be seeking.