I’ve heard people say that Christianity is a crutch for people who can’t deal with life. Maybe that’s true for some, but for me, being a Christian is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t think a day goes by when people don’t scoff at me for believing in God. “Look at you,” they say. “You just believe everything that people tell you about God.” The thing is, I don’t. Christians get labelled as hopefuls who take everything the pastor in their church or a random book says as absolute truth. But I’m not like that. Trust me, I’ve tried to prove that God doesn’t exist, or that what the Bible says about him is a lie, but in the end it only made me believe in God more.
I don’t use “religion” as a crutch. In reality, Jesus wrecked my life. It’s like some people have this notion that when a problem in my life comes along I just “give it to God” and don’t worry about it. But giving things to God is easier said than done. I don’t think trust is an easy thing for anyone; it sure isn’t for me. Especially when it comes to God, someone I can’t see and interact with the way I can a fellow human being.
Christianity has not made my life easier. Because of God I have a huge conscience – a good thing, but a heavy one too.
I can’t lie; knowing that God loves me does make things in my life more bearable. But getting to that point where you really understand that God’s love is endless and unconditional, that’s hard. I’ve been a Christian since I knew what the word meant, and I’m still not at that point. Hearing something is one thing, but believing it, that’s a something else altogether.
Some people think that my belief is naïve. But I don’t just believe in God, I know Him. Some things in life have proved to me that He’s there, and that He is who He says He is. So you may look at me and think that I’m naïve, ignorant, even weak. But the reality - I believe what I believe because I choose to, not because someone else told me to. I don’t just take in information and declare it truth. I explore, I get curious and attempt to discover the truth. I test “faith” hypotheses like a mad scientist. The weak part - yea, maybe you’re right. The fact that I acknowledge that I need someone other than myself alone makes me weak in the world’s eyes. But I don’t care.
What do I know? Not much. But what I do know, I know for sure.
Why do I know? Now that’s the question we should be asking…
Strange that admitting that you're weak is considered weakness. I haven't heard of any psychologist that would say that. And - isn't everyone weak? Not admitting it doesn't give anyone any strength...
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say that you "choose" to trust in God; I'd say you trust because you cannot not trust. If you could not trust, it sounds like you would not (at least in the past).
The answer to the question,
"Do you believe in God?"
is
"I know Him."
well Brad, I am not a psychologist so guess you've got me there. And I think that not admiting you're weak DOES give you a sense of strength, at least uspoerficial strength. People think that as long as they keep up the facade of being strong, people will see them as this way. I am not talking about individual strength here, but rather how the world views you. People always say, "Kait you're so confident" but I usually reply, "no im not" which, to others, is a sign of me being unconfident, get it?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you don't choose to trust in God, but I sure do. I have to put my trust in Him, I don't trust Him becasue I have to or because I cannot not trust. I can not trust in God. It's pretty easy to worry and to take things into my own hands. But trusting, that's something I have to choose to do ever day. Sometimes I do choose not to trust, other times I make myself surrender to God.
The answer to the question,
"Do you believe in God?"
is
"I know Him."
- I'm not really sure why you wrote that...
but thanks for the comment