what do we know?

Really: what do we know?
One thing is for sure, I don't know much.
8 months ago I made a (hard) decision to take a break from the dating world and focus on learning to love myself and God more. A whole year without dating. At first it didn't seem like the hardest thing; it's not like I dated much in the fisrt place.
But what I didn't realize in the moment when I made the decision not to date for a year was that things wouldn't instantly be perfect just because I decided to cut something out of my life for a little while. I had this idea that moving away from dating would be moving away from heartache. And yet, heartache still follows me. But these past 8 months have been interesting. I have struggled with the whole "no dating" thing. Opportunities have presented themselves, people have come into my life that I had a hard time saying no to, I've screwed up one too many times. But today I realized something about the past 8 months. The whole time I had been expecting that as soon as I took my focus off guys, I would instantly focus on God. Boy, was I wrong.
But I think I'm okay with that. Becasue though the past 8 months have been a real test of my love for God, they have also been a learning experience. Loving God is not too different from loving a person on earth. Both relationships take work, patience, love, and a whole lot of forgiveness. I guess I had started to view God more of a god, than as an actual person. Just because I made a commitment to stop dating and instead focus on learning to love myself and love God, doesn't mean that's what's going to happen, at least not right away. Learning to love God and like the person that He made me is going to take a long time. But I'm getting there.
Today is Ash Wednesday and marks the start of the season of Lent. It doesn't really matter what I'm giving up, just as long as I'm doing it for God, not for anything else.
What do I know? As these next 40 days of Lent, and 4 months of singleness, go on I'm sure to learn, to grow, to change. Heck, who knows? Maybe I'll even stay the same, but I doubt it.
One thing I DO know? God's going to be with my through it all. Doesn't matter what I used to think, what I used to believe. I'm going to make it this time.
That's what I know...

"What Do We Know?" -Thousand Foot Krutch
Pick up the phone, nobody's home, I’m all alone. We've all been here before. Yesterday, I saw a change, another way, as you walked out the door. It’s a twist, a little bit, I’ll admit.
But we're stronger than before. Open up, we've had enough, we've had enough, now we're holdin' on and waiting...
What do we know? What do we know? What do we know? What do we know? What do we know? What do we know? I'll tell you what they're all sayin'
We all try to be somebody but the world around us makes it so cloudy when we all trust where we're supposed to. But the blood on their hands says we're not close to the answer yet. But maybe if we pulled together, we could change a million lives for the better. And maybe, if we prayed a little more, we would stop living in fear from the storm. And everyone sings....
What do we know?